My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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