Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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