You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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