Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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