Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
is it fun? or sober?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
