What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Randomize
