No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
