there's paper in my vomit.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
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he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
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So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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