well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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