I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
