she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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