Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
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I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
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