So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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