He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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