how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Let's paint friendship bongs
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
