Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
And then he peed in my hair
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