The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
