even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
