I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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