I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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