I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
