Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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