he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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