Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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