told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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