this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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