I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Jerry, you need to find god
i barfeds in our rink
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
