dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
