You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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