The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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