Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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