He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
my liver is dry heaving
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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