i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
