I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
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She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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