yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
