Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
