proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
