Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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