I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize