im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
