Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
