false alarm. still invincible.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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