so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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