Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
