do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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