the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
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