Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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