I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
well you can't waste a boner
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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