I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
