What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
