I'm drive I can fine osifer
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
