plz talk dirty to me
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
