she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
