no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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