is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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