Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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